Do you like to feel miserable? I mean, who does? Humans are, hopefully, seeking well-being. We don’t like to be sad, misunderstood, lonely, abandoned, disappointed, desperate, frustrated… The list could go on. But it’s part of being human to feel this way. Small setbacks as well as life tragedies throw us out from balance. There is nothing wrong about it. We just need to bounce back, however it’s not easy. Today we will talk about acceptance and we’ll demonstrate it on the event of Brexit.
Acceptance and Brexit
Brexit is a huge thing and it is and will be the no. 1 topic in European media for following days and weeks. It personally came to me as a shock, as I do believe ‘together we are stronger’. I guess nobody in any other European country really thought this might go through. UK and EU are in great uncertainty what will happen. Will the economy collapse? Will other countries follow the example of the UK and the EU will be destabilized? Will British pound continue to devalue and British economy suffer? Will Scotland leave the UK? Honestly, we have no idea.
I believe that many politicians are freaking out at the moment. Brexit happened and we can’t do anything about it. But we can still move forward. The first step to move away from the disappointment of Brexit and the fear and anxiety it brings. We should accept the situation.
Avoiding is not accepting
The reality is here and we have to take it as it is. Ignoring it or avoiding doesn’t help. It makes us ignorant towards our own emotions. There is a chance that you can become empty inside and whenever somebody shows you a mirror, you react with anger and frustration. Whether you are frustrated young person from Britain or you just experienced setbacks, acknowledge your emotions.
Ask yourself two questions: How your life should look like and how does it look like at the moment? Observe your emotions when you ask those questions. Those emotions can be very painful and you have to let them go through in order to release them eventually.
How to accept Brexit?
What I noticed is an ultimate failure of media informing about the event. Instead of providing the most objective information possible, they took an opinion and forced it on their readers using fear. It’s been happening since the referendum campaign started. There are 2 opinions and 2 different realities. 1 side is celebrating and saying it’s the best thing that could happen to the UK. The other one is frustrated and believes that this decision with seriously damage both the UK and the EU. So which side is right? We have no idea.
Instead of looking back at the event and trying to figure what lead the people of the UK to vote for leave, we are trying to figure out the future. Suddenly media are full of predictions but in the same time they simplify the reality. People were lied to vote to leave the EU. People of Scotland and North Ireland want to stay in EU. UK doesn’t want to be a part of EU anymore. But is it the reality? If I am not mistaken, approximately 40% of people of Scotland wanted to leave the EU. Almost half of the UK wanted to remain. Some people didn’t want to leave because they were lied to, they might have their own reason.
The faster you accept the decision of the other party, the faster you open up yourself to understand why they decided to do so.
If the EU wants to stay relevant, they have to understand why the people of UK decided to leave. Simple answer: “Well, they were lied to.” is absolutely irrelevant! You can’t get any feedback out of it. If the UK wants to keep their status and have the trust of their citizens, they have to understand why almost half of the nation wanted to remain and how to respect their wishes as well. The key to acceptance is to recognize what the other party wants and see the bigger and more objective picture than the one served by populist politicians and media.
How you personally can accept difficult situations in life?
Acceptance is about stopping for a minute and reflecting. There are a few techniques you can try. Yes, everyone is suggesting meditation as the ultimate healing technique. And I won’t be any different because it is really working. You can try some meditation apps or look for some on YouTube. Just don’t forget that you are not a Buddhist monk. You should start with simple meditations. Just a few minutes a day. You will see the difference eventually.
To get clear picture, you can try Byron Katie’s Work model. Ask yourself following questions: Is it true? Can I be absolutely sure it is true? How do you react, what happens when you believe that thought? What would you do/be without that thought?
Please do let us know, if these exercises helped you to accept your reality. I decided to create a series of blog posts about the 7 keys of resilience as they’ve been described by Reivich, Shattle and Heller. Next week we will take you through the second key of resilience, optimism.
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